And Then Comes Her Knight In Shining Armor
by Neopuff
Summary: Greed / Riza Hawkeye / Roy Mustang . Alcohol is easily abused when you don't know exactly what you're drinking.


A/N: I don't do author's notes anymore, do I? XD Haha, thanks for all your reviews all the time, guys! And I know I always write RoyAi, but it's not the only thing I like. So I decided to write a quick Greed/Riza oneshot :D Maybe someday I'll write an Envy/Riza...and Kimblee/Riza...and Scar/Riza...ehehe

She's my bicycle, don't ruin it for me.

XD Soz...I hope you enjoy! This will be [slightly] AU, since obviously they never met in the manga. Pff but he would have loved to see her bodehh.

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He looked left, looked right. He even looked up and down, for good measure. 'Looks like everything's clear...' Greed slithered out of the alleyway, inconspicuously walking down the sidewalk. He didn't realize his feet were shuffling faster than he'd like to, but they slowed as soon as he found people to blend in with. Although he had escaped from the clutches of 'Father' almost one hundred years ago, he still hadn't found the right crew to use as his tools. He knew he wanted strong people, and preferrably at least one woman, just...well, just because.

That's when he spotted her.

Her face showed complete uninterest in everything around her: the darkness around the crowded streets and the almost silent ticking from the gigantic clock overhead. However, her outfit showed different signs: a low cut shirt and a skirt with a slit up it so high Greed swore he could see her...

'No need for imagination.' He thought quickly. He'd have that skirt off of her before she could blink, if things went his way. That's when he realized he actually _could_ see something under that skirt, but it wasn't anything pleasant. 'A gun, of course.' That means she probably wouldn't be as easy as he wanted, and he hating fighting girls. Maybe he could pull off the charms and swoon her into a motel room?

His feet worked even faster than his perverted mind, and he sneaked next to her. She shivered visibly before putting a hand to that gun holster from before and turning towards him. "Do you need something?" Her voice was perfect for her, he noted. Strong, deadly, but still feminine and sexy. He wanted her even more.

"Ah, don't worry about needing a gun, babe, I won't do anything you don't want me to." He put both hands up in a sign of defense.

"I shouldn't need to mention that you didn't answer the question."

He smiled and chuckled. "I just wanted to ask if a beautiful lady like yourself would join a bum like me for a little drink?" He motioned to the nearest bar, which he recognized easily. Having regenerative powers was nice; the alcohol couldn't destroy his liver when it fixed itself after every drink.

She frowned and put a hand on her hip. "Do you really want to hear my answer?"

"Only if it's yes," he gave her a huge smile. He liked the color of her hair, and he usually didn't go for blondes.

"..." She glared at him intently, searching him for a knife, gun, or any other dangerous weapon. He could tell that her results ended up with nothing, and she sighed heavily. "Alright, one drink. Just remember: you're paying." She shrugged off the obviously bad decision on her part, thinking this man as nothing more than a common clueless bum. Even with one drink in her system, she could take down the man with a single shot if he tried anything stupid.

"Heh," Greed chuckled again and couldn't stop from staring at her swaying hips as he followed her into the bar.

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"So do you know your alcohol already or should I order you something?" He smirked, hoping she'd pick the latter. He'd chose the strongest drink in the bar, and she'd be so vulnerable he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"...I don't even know you, yet I know I wouldn't let you order for me," she said montonously.

"Alright, the name's Greed," he spoke slyly. "Now that you know me, you'll let me pick?"

"Greed? You've got to be kidding me." She chuckled at his name. "Who told you that was a good name?"

He frowned and quickly smirked again from the sound of her laughter. "Trust me, it was a pretty smart guy. But he's out of the picture now, so we don't need to talk about him." He didn't like talking about Father or the other homunculi, especially when this woman's body was the only thing he had in mind. "So you know my name, do I get to learn yours?"

"Hawkeye," she spoke her name professionallly: straight, calm, cool. "Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Now who told you Lieutenant was a good name?"

She couldn't help but smirk sarcastically. "My first name is Riza, if you absolutely have to know." The bartender came over and they finally ordered their drinks, Greed tried not to flinch when he noticed how she chose something so specific it _had_ to be expensive.

"Riza Hawkeye, huh?" He smiled. "Now that's a nice name, rolls off the tongue."

She rolled her eyes. "I can't say the same for yours."

As they chatted idly and drank the alcohol they ordered, a face sitting on a couch far from them was staring agape at the scene before him. His dark black hair was messy from a long day at work and his eyes were staring not at his newspaper, but at his Lieutenant and her apparent 'date'. 'That...that's undoubtably Hawkeye.' He couldn't believe his eyes. Although he could easily acknowledge how good-looking she was, and that she was certainly allowed to date whomever she wanted to...it was just, this man didn't seem to be her type at all. He looked tough, gruff, but not in a military way. More like he was in a gang or had been through a gunfight or two and had a run with the police once or twice. And it was obvious what this man's goal was, and it was _not_ the friendly conversation she was giving him.

When Hawkeye got up for a second, Roy's gaze followed her instead of focusing on her date. So while he was staring, hoping that she was just some deranged look-alike, Greed was scheming himself a wonderful plan.

Greed called over the bartender and ordered a drink with a color similar to Hawkeye's original, and placed it their instead. He made sure to take a few sips first, making it look like she'd already had some. And he smiled widely as she walked back over to her seat and quickly picked up the glass and took another sip, not noticing the difference in alcohol content since the buzz from her earlier drink was still in her throat.

Roy wasn't a huge fan of alcohol: beer wasn't great, wine was too expensive; he might get a gin and tonic once a month or if he was feeling stressed. But he knew a few drinks, and the one his Lieutenant was drinking was a _very_ strong one. He could see her stare curiously at the drink, but thinking nothing of it and taking a few more sips. Her speech became more obviously slurred and Mustang could see her head sway from side-to-side every so often. But more importantly, he could see a large smirk on the face of the vicious-looking man sitting next to her. Roy stood up and decided enough was enough.

Before Greed could carry out his original plan, a younger man dressed in black wrapped his arms around the Lieutenant in front of him. Greed snarled and turned sharply, about to ask what the man was doing, but Roy spoke first. "I'm sorry, sir, but this woman is not yours for the taking. I'd thank you for giving her a nice night, but you've obviously forced her intoxication."

Riza looked up at the man whose arms lay around her waist and gave him a huge smile. Her cheeks were bright red and her mind was gone, leaving Roy to blush at her openness and glare once again at Greed. "So I'll be taking her home now, sorry to have bothered you." No matter how much he wanted to slap this guy for even so much as talking to his Lieutenant, Roy acted polite and gave one arm to the topsy-turvy woman so she'd have something to lean on as they headed out the bar.

Greed knew he could've knocked out the stupid interference in a second, but he knew that'd probably make his eye-candy a little less than happy. No one likes seeing other people get hurt, even when they're pretty drunk. He shrugged it off. 'I've still got plenty of time to nab that sexy little Riza," he thought happily. Greed left the bar without paying for the drinks, knowing that the bartender knew him, and knew not to bother him when his date was stolen. He took a look back at the stool where Riza had been sitting, and noticed a little present she seemed to leave for him.

A black purse lay gracefully on the edge of the stool, just begging someone to pick it up. Inside, Greed found a wallet with a lovely couple of forms of ID and information; including her address and phone number. He laughed heartily and headed out the door.

"Like I said."

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uhhh greed/riza/roy. alcohol is fun :D -minor- ffff shut up self.

anyhow i had fun writing this. ummm YUP love ya'll byee :D


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